My Living is Inspired By Purpose

/photo @danica tanjutco on Unsplash/

For me to be successful I have had to define success in my own terms. My living is informed and inspired by my purpose.

We have valued gains so much in life until we have obscured our view of whom we should be. Love has made us live less of ourselves, because, somebody else giving us an opportunity to change from who we are, to whom we should not be.

We think by changing ourselves for the other person whom we regard as special, will make them better in the process, also we wish we become better in that presence.

We have experienced love from a point of hate, we have experienced success form a point of failure, we have experienced happiness from a point of sorrow.

We define the positive after experiencing the negative. I don’t know whether that perspective is right or wrong, but it gives us an opportunity to express lack, for us to appreciate gifting.

I’m trying to be myself away from my past, even when it makes my current time be short. I’m trying to define myself from the future, but my present doesn’t allow computation of that information.

Nobody can hurt you unless you allow yourself to hurt. Success isn’t defined from an external space, you define it within your space and within your living. They want us to live success from their own perspective, but they don’t want to understand it from our view.

They cannot qualify success to us from their own limited space of being selfish. They want us to be successful from what they think success should be to us not what we think success is to self.

The conflict of being successful is in between their conscious not from our own reality. I can’t paint to you an image of a reality I can’t hold on.

We refuse to meet our reality mostly when it informs us of how of a failure we are. We experience fear so we don’t make the hard choices, we fear rejection and so we end up staying in unfulfilled situations. We keep on failing to keep the promises because of the reasons we hold onto.

We promise big, but we act small because we get fulfilled in our own shortcomings and we give them power to hold us in positions that we are temporarily satisfying. We end up understanding life from a reductive reality.

Our understanding of success has come to a point of even lacking self love. We have time to love others but we don’t have time to love ourselves. Sometimes I wonder whether is lack of time or too much of it that make us be compulsive.

I have refused to be defined by words that limit my being. How do we know even who to be when we are always running away from our own reality. We are always in a rush to be who we should not, and the temporary image we have formed of what perfect is our present day augmented reality.

Most of the time we are looking for good in the paths that are broken. And instead of healing those paths we create new wounds by demanding good even when it comes through suppressing love.

I hate it when, I find myself in positions that I have to demand love, instead of being love. I love it when, I’m love even in the spaces that I’m hated. You love how they look at you when you are in love, but you don’t love yourself when you are in love.

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Nature Made Me Lose

/photo Courtesy/

What if you would lack the promise that you thought it would have given you pride and a normal life.

Losing to nature is not a kind thing to humans, we have to live and coexist in the same nature that we depend on for comfort and yet it takes away what’s natural for us.

We expect to be rewarded by good deeds what if good or bad you would still be rewarded with your promises. The benefit of understanding potential even when it’s inadequate and beyond our own control.

Our brokenness makes us believe we are losing alot to nature yet we acquire alot from the very same thing we never considered important to our lives.

For the first time I have gotten comfort from nature. I depend on it to see beyond my lack. I have deconstructed my reality afresh from a new perspective.

My reality has changed since I confronted my entire loss after believing in what I had held so much on, yet I couldn’t control it.

I allowed the process to define for me what fine is, what normal would look like, and translated my dreams to my reality.

I felt lost every time I held up on my brokenness hoping that pain would go away if I held a little bit longer but it was time to let go and allow a new normal to define me in a different way.

My truth was bitter to swallow, the path of resisting the end was my prison for a moment and I lost all the joy, happiness and peace.

The moment I have gotten awakened I realised I needed to live beyond my pain, beyond my loss, as a new person. As I got awarded a new platform to change the old to become a new.

The challenge was huge, every moment I felt like I would give up, I held a little longer because the prayers got to give me short relieves of pain and meeting the loss up front.

I’m happy to find my life beyond my pain and beyond my loss. The pain I held on is no longer powerful or important to my being. I’m done being described by pain and being given meaning by loss.

I have accessed success from the very same path that would have made me lose myself.

When your right goes beyond the wrong it becomes powerful and it defines meaning beyond words. I finally accept my truth.

I no longer have time to hold on. I just need to live freely and accept that I need healing beyond the process of pain. I need to accept happiness and joy once again.

The change of an individual through the opportunity offered by pain, loss and inadequacy. I am a living proof of being intentional with change and success. Regardless of the offers around me I ensure the choice made is specific to details informed by my awareness.

They have equated my lack with missed opportunities and said he could have been better if he listened. However you cannot predict the future in any other form other than in a spiritual self search. They don’t understand my path and its okay because they should not be in it.

I’m moving as wind they don’t know where I am coming from and where I’m going, call it mystery but it’s my path and I embrace it. They were given the book of rules they couldn’t live without reference as their view was limited to what they could see only.

I refuse loss to define me, I refuse pain to give me meaning, I have refused my past to hold me down away from achieving the identity I’m building. The realisation and the awakening is not for everyone and for those who acquire awakening it’s set aside for them to achieve a better self.

I’m working hard to ensure that I never go back to a lesser self of who I have become.

Loss Of My Thoughts.

/photo Courtesy/ dj banns

It’s not the forgetting that is an issue but the loss of my thoughts.

If my mind can compose it doesn’t matter if I forget it because that same mind can form the thought once again probably differently and in a better way.

Some of us have gotten an identity from the external material of what doesn’t inform us who we are. And we hold onto that story because we attach our identity with it.

Anytime we don’t tell that story we feel like we have lost a part of who we are. So for us to be and exist we have to live in the story, telling the story and forming the narrative of the story because that is who we are.

You have lost yourself trying to find meaning of life. Though you know life, you don’t know who you are.

We have lost a part of ourselves because understanding is limited to us. We don’t ask because we can’t face the truth. We don’t seek because we shall loose what we hold our formation.

The gap between the missing link and the understanding of who we are, shall never be filled until we get internal peace.

Sometimes love gives us clarity and takes us beyond the level we know us physical to a spiritual space. But also if we don’t know how to separate ourselves from comfort then we have gotten an identity in the comfort.

Always grow your formation don’t hold onto the past you. Renew your identity every time through accessing new information and experiences.

The Fantasy Reality

/photo/ @Christian Fregnan on Unsplash

We look at reality from a flawed and discounted view because we don’t accept the truth of what defines us beyond our understanding of reality.

We have been enslaved to only understand what we know however when we are introduced to new reality we reject it absolutely without a clear distinction of how that specific experience influences us.

On our own we live in our real fantasy but when we have people around us we restrict and break out of our internal instinct to fit the external perspective of what perfect means to them.

For me perfect is different, perfect is refusing to live in the less version of who you are, perfect is understanding beyond your knowledge and finally perfect is just who I am when I’m in adequate even to self.

The world has taught me more from living less of who I am because it believes control, suppression and restrictions gives freedom to their perspective and uplifts the ego to make one feel better.

So we have become attached to live in control, rejection and suppression because that is what our broken self has understood as perfect and normal to us.

Religion has refused to enlighten my spirit and heart to leave free off the wrong perception of how the world around me is.

People meet reality in a discounted view because they have believed themselves less of who they can become in a world that values control even in spaces that they cannot even control.

I talk about my reality and everyone looks at me in disbelief and in amazement about why I would talk about that kind of truth. They reject my words not because it’s not right but because they cannot meet themselves in that kind of truth.

Sometimes we just reject everything we are been told and everything around us because we cannot take in such kind of truths in one single moment of reality. We try and allow control and rejection at that time to give us an escape of that kind of reality.

We have refused the only path that will break us from our own wrong perspective about life. We have a burden of the wrong reality about our own life.

Sometimes the end is closer to us than we think but anytime we reject to accept the truth we push it away further to a space that we may never get to unless we surrender the very same thing we derive meaning from.

We don’t get to awareness because of lack of surrender to give us a better defination of our own identity and reality. Our lives are much bigger than living in our titles and achievements.

I have refused success to give me an identity and to derive meaning from it, I have also refused failure to define my reality because of my inadequacies. My freedom is beyond my success and my failure.

I’m more than what you see, I am who I am. Beyond the name I am called, beyond my titles, beyond my own achievements to an extent beyond my past and my future. Because I am my present, my now and my only truth at this specific unit of time.

I have refused my definition and identity to belong to time because even that limits me to grow to a better me in a life that is limited by time, perceptions and physical body.

I am free of my body, I refuse it to give me meaning about life, I refuse it to limit my heart and spirit.

I want to go beyond and above my own reality to that space that only holds one truth.

The Body Without An Identity.

/photo @Dangold on Unsplash/

I used to think that success would give me peace. I looked for love because it made feel normal. But again I dint gain a part of me to experience loss.

I got lost because I dint know what I was even searching for. The eyes were blinded by the sunset, the same beauty I was supposed to see made me blind over and over again. I hated to see myself in the dark because when I was in light the beauty of life lasted momentarily and I desired longevity in it.

The desire to live in joy and happiness was so much calling to a level I desired to have less of what dint make me become better every day.

I’m more courageous now to face the ends I was afraid of before because I have achieved a better place of becoming me. They told me that I am different from what they know. What if what they know is also different from whom they are supposed to be.

The path of giving my body an identity so that it can experience life in a free way. Society has locked different bodies with different identities because then the meaning they give creates an opportunity for the body to exist.

It’s like the body gets freedom from an identity formed with closed ends. We want the end so much because we can’t face the truth of what made us search for the end in the first place.

The process is so sweet, greater than anything else I have meet in my recent past. I get meaning, satisfaction and freedom from the process more than the end. The end is just a significant point to tell us that everything is controlled by time, including freedom.

My love for life I don’t want it to be attached to something that can have an end. I want that love to be experienced every time I’m in the process because that never ends.

I have found my freedom from the very same thing that holds me back to who I am. Sometimes it feels like prison to lock my self in my own definition but what is being super gifted without self control. I have found love from the same thing that makes me see sacrifice as a point of experiencing loss, yet it’s not.

Life is short so short. I make it count every day. There is no wrong that makes me not to forgive myself and there is no right that makes me to be too attached to the process of being right.

I’m selfless to myself first because I need to learn to give myself grace and mercy to share a part of me with the larger world in good faith and trust.

I’m building trust with myself to teach me that my tomorrow can end now and so everything is futile if it doesn’t give me momentous gratitude, satisfaction and peace.

It’s Okay To Be Vulnerable

/photo Courtesy/

What makes us strong sometimes is the absence of vulnerability within our reality and self.

Our image has been built through the courage and strength that we have acquired from our environment and not who we are. The face we put up during our normal environment has helped us form an identity through it and we have lost who we are in the process.

Sometimes our character in the work that we do has been formed to be so strong that weakness is never heard of. We have come to a place that we have believed perfection exists because of our mentality to live through life in a perfect state.

We have attached our strength to be in the chores we do and not from our source of who we are. Our careers have become our source of forming our identity. We find out who we are from what we do and not who we are.

So for us to be true to ourselves we have to repeat that thing that forms our identity and unfortunately for our case its duty.

Anytime we experience loss at work we come to hate ourselves because we have known perfection from a case of duty and not from who we are. In fact there is no perfect they formed that word to help us understand that the lack of perfection can be defined as perfect.

We keep on trying to get that balance by having every duty we do become our win and we become attached to the win so much until we never know what loss is. Our brokenness is informing us that we have known perfection but our mistakes reminds us that we are just humans in this lost world.

I am lost without words because I have discovered a path of silence and meditation. A path that exist without suppression of self, a path that defines peace beyond the word and gives you it literally in life.

The gifts are not given as we have been told before, they are revealed within our living. We never get to understand them unless they are revealed through the path of enlightenment.

We never acquire gifts but we build character within the gifts that have been revealed within us. So when we get attached to the wins of life, it’s not that we work to win, we just reveal the win within us. Same us failure, we don’t work to fail we just reveal failure within our inadequacy.

Never get so much attached to the happiness that is built by wins but by the peace that comes with understanding of what your “I” means to that intimate place called self.

And the pain that comes with the loss is not supposed to break us or make us less of ourselves. It just helps us understand that we lack the knowledge and skill, however it’s not wrong. The experience makes us better for tomorrow not for others but for ourselves first.

We have been taught to live a life that is accredited by others and not what we know about ourselves and acknowledgement of who we are.

Let’s change and begin to understand that revelation gives us fulfilment through our destiny and we live full to our potential. Not without fault but with peace, fulfilment and understanding.

Is My Vote Independent and Democratic.

/Photo @swiftgraffiti/

(The mural image for Free Bobi Wine protest March in Kenya after his arrest and capture in Uganda.)

The difficulty of understanding achievements brought by our broken self because nobody taught what being kind and showing love to others is.

Leaders with big titles slamming shame on the same followers they are expected to protect. They talk big to give hope and when the sun goes down they retreat to count the likes they got that day because as they say it was a big day for us.

They count your win as their contribution and their victory as their own sheer hard work. I wonder what empathy to them means even when they choose to give the very same thing they weren’t given. Talk about leading from a place of desperation and ego filled sensation.

I was told my vote was free and independent but the cost I have to bear for choosing the right choice is untold. It’s like I voted to be told that my choice of leader is good but we have better bad leaders than who you think.

They control my vote even when it’s independent I’m I really free or as they, has democracy come with a package of being enslaved to options I dint choose.

First time I was enthusiastic about voting, second time I did it with passion as I knew I had corrected my first mistakes, third time they told me the last two time I had made a terrible mistake so they did a repeat election.

I’m tired of going back to the ballot to give the boisterous, loud and un-empathetic people power to govern a democracy that is given within a limited leash.

What is power and freedom if it still has to be controlled. Then are we really independent, do we see what we like and choose what we hate.

A young african raising questions about the choices I have been making about the type of leadership I would love to see. Every becomes clearly that we are a broken society with a broken system.

Our freedom still relies on the systems that have been created to manipulate us to think that, we are making progress while power is being shared by the same people who have tried to describe what transformational leadership is.

I’m not an expert on democracy, governance and politics but I do know that when I choose to vote who I need to represent me at all levels of government spaces.

We all may not be gifted to be policy makers though each one has an opportunity to influence the kind of policy’s and type of leaders we can put up to engage us with the right frame work of being right for the people and for ourselves.

They tell us they punish those who are threats and they free those who are corrupt. So what kind of freedom is that. I’m not looking for a pure angel, I’m looking for a different person who can solve ordinary problems in a unique manner.

They don’t have to be right all the time but at least they try to do what is right for the people. Mistakes are inevitable but they can be avoided sometimes. I want a better Africa not just for me but for us all.